Sometimes, the best way of fixing something is by taking it apart and starting anew. Like dismantling an old car and using the pieces to build another. And sometimes, the new car is so much more worthwhile that you wonder why you bothered with the old one in the first place. I could never understand why I chose my family. Why did I decide to land with divorced parents? So I wonder: did my parents get married only because my soul asked to be born into their family? He arranged my family, made my parents marry even though they were unsuitable for one another—only so that I could be born into the circumstances I wished for, so that I could become precisely the person I am today.
All it took was that change in perspective to turn my frown upside down and to dry my tears. I could wear the shaded glasses, or I could swap them for sunny ones. I could choose to smile or to cry. I could be an ordinary rope, or I could be the elastic. And , this is what I would like to say. You are so very smart! When you were young , I would answer your questions ; or help you see things more poitively I showed you that there are better , more positive ways to look our situation. Now that you are all grown up , B.
You are so smart as I have always known you are.
I am more proud of you than ever. Mother Reply.
Positives of Divorce I agree Charles and yet divorce is necessary at times and there are positives to it as well - such as good work ethic for example - which is HUGE!. Pretty much all of the movers and shakers of this world came from adversity in their childhood, many from divorce, illegitimacy, the death of parents, abuse and neglect, etc.
This is where good mentors come in, and the world is sorely lacking in them today unfortunately. If Death is the first D, I disagree. Divorce can be worse than death if the child sees it as willful abandonment. Death is rarely willful.
The Divorce. The second dreaded "D" word a child can hear. No amount of reasoning and logic will ever change that. No study on brains or anything else will relieve that pain.
Divorce and Its Effects on Teenagers Essay - Words | Cram
Divorce isn't always a good thing. Especially these days when you see young couples marrying having a kid and divorcing. And while it's better than the ever growing spectrum of teenagers having babies it's just about as bad. I don't think anyone can relieve the falling pain of divorce and no lad should ever have to experience it.
Yes, I too believe there is a necessity for divorce in certain circumstances, but did you know that Dr. Roger Sperry won a Nobel Prize in for his work in neurobiology when he found that male children in their mother's womb underwent a chemical bath at the brain stem between the 16th and 24th week of development separating the brain in two? This explained how women can multi-task whereas men focus on one thing at a time. These differences cause huge battles between couples in relationships, and this makes good sense as to marriage being meant to spiritually mature us.
As God created opposites to attract, nothing is more evident in our differences than how we function and what our needs are. We need to understand our differences and work around them.
The most important thing we can do in our relationships is accept each others faults and differences because we all have them. Divorce saves lives Thamk G-d While I am not a advocate of divorce ; and have done everything in my power to prevent it. I now understand that it has a definite place in our society. I honestly believe that divorce has saved many lives - including children. I am very grateful that it is a option for my child. Every family has problems ; divorce may actually enhance one: s life. Actually , divorce may increase one' s family.
Again , I only think divorce should be used as a last resort ; but Thank G- d it is a option. I have experienced this. Spouses and children of divorce have to come to grips with a lot, and their challenges are very personal and heartbreaking, but adding to this pain is often the very tragic reality of being ostracized by 'whole' or 'intact' families, both parents and children, most notably of those within the more religious communities. As mothers , this is what we do best. I am very glad you wrote- as the child in this scenario.
Divorce Stories: I witnessed my parents’ divorce
I am sure you will help many children in similar situations. Thank you for the insight you have provided. Very nice article I take this article at face value.
It does take a mature person to realize, as the Bible says, that ALL things work together for good to them that love G-d. It doesn't say all good things Mature people realize, as this person does, that hard times and good times work together to help us become who we are. When we look back most of us realize that it is the hard times, even more than the good times, that help us develop character. Thank you for this piece of writing Reply.
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He has been even more abusive by turning them against me. I know how deeply this has hurt my children. He did bring home the bacon, but I just couldn't be around his controlling abusive behavior anymore.
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I felt like I was the only one trying to be happy. I hope someday they do Thank you Anon: Your post helped me tremendously. For I am the mother of my children who experienced me leaving their dad and then him divorcing me. It continues to be painful for me as my son gives birth to my first granbaby and what this all will mean for her. This is great I love you anon : I KNOW G-d is making this happen for the best- i absolutely love how you said there is no such thing as 'bad', everything is good because it's all part of G-ds perfect plan.
Learning from My Parents' Divorce
Being at the age approaching marriage and parenthood, I often think about my childhood, my parents and inevitably what kind of parent I would like to be. I am definitely excited to become a parent — I admit, it is partially due to my desire to live the family life that I felt I never had — I want the best environment for my kid s. I think my childhood taught me valuable lessons because at an early age, I learned that my parents are just normal people and watching them date helped me to handle awkwardness in my life :-P. Knowing that they have done their best and sacrifice so much to raise me properly, I need to take responsibility for any insecurity that I have.
I also understand that you can date anyone in the world without much hesitation, but you need to take marriage seriously because the long term implication it would have on your life. Lastly, I learned that love and marriage take tremendous work on both individuals. Become a member. Sign in. Get started. Annie Li Follow. Family Love Marriage. Seeking the truth involves a true desire to find the truth, an open mind, and relentless study.
See responses 4. Discover Medium. Make Medium yours. About Help Legal. It is important to remember that not all of the effects mentioned in the studies above will be experienced by all children of divorce and those problems that do emerge can be made less intense with further education, nurturing, good communication, and lots of love.
Divorce not only affects the child ren emotionally but it takes a toll on the parent- child relationship. Children dealing with divorce are often left with a lot of questions because they are going through something they have never experienced before. It is important to answer every question that might arise in order for the child to better understand what is going on.